You know you drink too much coffee when...


You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.

Your thermos is on wheels.

When someone says, "How are you?", you say "Good to the last drop."

Your taste buds are so numb, you could drink your lava lamp.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

You've built a miniature city with little plastic stirrers.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

Your only source of nutrition comes from Sweet & Low.

All your kids are named 'Joe'.

You're so jittery, people use your hands to blend their margaritas.

The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

You lick your coffee pot clean.

You have to watch videos in fast forward.

You sleep with your eyes open.

You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.

You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.

You answer the door before people knock.

You have a bumper sticker that reads 'Coffee drinkers are good in the sack.'

You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.

You ski uphill.

Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.